Tuesday, August 5, 2008
About a year ago, this new guy starts working on my team. The first day I meet him, he points to the top of my cube-mate's head and says, "Nice hair. Are you trying to look like Jason Bourne?"
My cube-mate at the time had the front part of his hair sticking up. The truth is, he did look sort of funny. Still, it was strange and unusual for some new guy to make fun of his hair so quickly. Especially when the new guy's hair is all messed up too.
The new guy wears a red and blue striped shirt, shorts, and sneakers. With that messy black hair and a goofy smile on his face he is a dead ringer for Ernie from Sesame Street. Seriously, if you saw a photo of Ernie and then saw this dude in real life you would swear that he is Ernie.
My cube-mate is a big fan of the Jason Bourne movies. He enjoys the Harry Potter books too. In fact, my cube-mate said to me once, "I am Harry Potter." Sometimes he wears a shirt that has an iron-on print of himself when he was a small child being held in his Mother's lap. All the girls love it. What a douche.
Ernie sometimes torments my cube-mate with questions like, "Who do you think would win in a fight between Harry Potter and Jason Bourne?" After thinking about it for a few seconds, my cube-mate responds, "Jason Bourne is unbeatable."
"What about Harry's wand?" Ernie asks.
My cube-mate smiles and replies, "Bourne would find a way to get it away from Harry without him even knowing it. He's that good!" It's hard to take sides with a guy who wears a picture of his mother on his chest.
Conversations like these went on for months. Eventually, my cube-mate had enough and left for the East Coast to become an FBI agent. He's had a lot of training by watching UFC videos at work. By the time he leaves, I've learned all about Crow-Cop and his deadly ribcage kick! I've never known a guy so obsessed with UFC, Jason Bourne, and Harry Potter.
Sometimes Ernie asks me what I think my old cube-mate is up to. I'm not sure, but I have a feeling it involves watching UFC videos and crooning over Jason Bourne.
Listen to the audio recording here: http://media.libsyn.com/media/jakespage/jnr121.mp3