Who is Ernie?

The new guy at work is wearing a red and blue striped shirt, shorts, and sneakers. With his messy black hair and that goofy smile on his facem he is a dead ringer for Ernie from Sesame Street. Seriously, if you saw a photo of Ernie and then saw this guy in real life you'd swear he is Ernie!

Ernie Found Out

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Ernie found out about this blog. He asked me how long I plan to keep it up. I told him, “As long as we work together.” I think he was suspicious for awhile because he saw me taking notes during a conversation. He demanded to know why I was so concerned about his square dancing shoes!

“Why are you writing about me?” he asks.

“Because you’re easy entertainment.” I reply.

Ernie’s wife thinks the blog is funny. So do people at work. Ernie says he was going to start a blog about me. He wants to call it “Bert the Jerk.” Although I look nothing like Bert.

“You should do something more original.” I suggest. “Don’t just copy what somebody else is doing. Besides, my life is already an open book.”

He starts asking questions about my childhood- what were some of my favorite things to do? What were some embarrassing moments? Etc. He even sends an email to my brother and requests some “dirt” from when I was younger.

I already told Ernie about the time I peed on my brother. What could possibly be worse than that? Aside from when I poured boiling water on a neighbor kid during a water fight. But Ernie already knows about that too. I felt really bad because I didn’t know boiling water would cause 3rd degree burns on a person’s back. Ouch! Hey, I was just a kid.

Ernie said he will think of something else then, though he tells me in secrecy that he feels slightly honored that I write about him. Imagine the Muppet Ernie’s face staring straight ahead with his mouth agape.

Today, he bought me an apple pie from Arby’s. Although he pretends to spit in it before handing it to me, I think his heart is in the right place.

Hear the audio recording here: http://media.libsyn.com/media/jakespage/05_Ernie_Found_Out.mp3

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