Who is Ernie?

The new guy at work is wearing a red and blue striped shirt, shorts, and sneakers. With his messy black hair and that goofy smile on his facem he is a dead ringer for Ernie from Sesame Street. Seriously, if you saw a photo of Ernie and then saw this guy in real life you'd swear he is Ernie!

Batman Pennies

Saturday, August 9, 2008

People at work are always throwing things at Ernie. Paperclips, pennies, a rubber ball with spikes, a foam miniature airplane, a battery-operated dancing gerbil, etc. He just has that look. People see him and they want to chuck things at him.

I wonder if the Muppet Ernie has the same problem.

Once, as a practical joke, someone placed a stack of pennies on top of Ernie's car. They positioned a few nickels on top of his windshield wipers too. He told me about it the next day. He said he heard a rumbling noise when he backed out of the parking lot but didn’t think much of it. Then, when he drove onto the main road, a car behind him started honking.

"Hey! A penny flew off of your roof and hit my windshield." The man in the car yelled.

Imagine Ernie all scrunched down in his seat, smiling meekly as the motorist past by, his messy hair blowing in the wind.

Later that week, Ernie popped the hood of the car for some routine maintenance. Pennies fell through the engine and onto the ground. It's like finding sand in your shoes three months after you've been to the beach. It gets everywhere.

Ernie has rotten luck. I try to make Ernie happy by treating him to lunch sometimes. Nothing big, just a cheeseburger or a soda. Once I drove with him to Winger's and stopped off at a convenience store afterwards so he could get some bottled water. He had burned his tongue on some hot sauce. He’s like a child, really. Most of us have accidents sometimes but Ernie has them constantly. I bought him a Batman Kit-Kat bar along with a bottle of water. It made him smile.

Ernie is a big fan of Batman. For the premiere of “The Dark Knight” he stayed up late to catch a midnight screening. Only getting a few hours of sleep, Ernie bounced into work bright and early the next morning clad in a brand new Batman T-Shirt. Before Ernie made it to his desk I received the following text message from a co-worker in another department: "My whole team just watched Ernie run in from the parking lot wearing a Batman shirt. Check him out!"

He bounces through the door in a fit of excitement. "A man was dressed as Batman!" He exclaimed. "He was throwing shirts to the crowd. Do you know how much these cost at Hot Topic? $20! And I got one for free!" He is so happy. $20 is a lot to Ernie.

It's weird to think that even Batman chucked something at him. I'm just glad that it wasn't pennies or a battery-operated gerbil.

For the remainder of the day, people hum the old Batman television theme song to Ernie’s face. He hates it. One co-worker calls his extension and uses the phone keypad to play a musical version of the Batman theme. Na na na na na na na na Bat-Man!! I told Ernie his shirt is cool and asked if he wants a soda. He declines and instead buys one for me.

Thanks, Ernie.

Listen to the audio recording here: http://media.libsyn.com/media/jakespage/03_Ernie_Batman_Pennies.mp3


Anonymous said...

Ernie is a stud...have i met him at your house? maybe a bbq? i hope i get to see him soon...I have a rotten potato with his name all over it! ha! :)


Jake Cordova said...

I don't think you've met Ernie. If you saw him, you'd know it because you'd think, "My God! He really DOES look like Ernie from Sesame Street." ;)